Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
