just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How's work?
Spinning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
