please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
