Grow some girl-balls and come out already
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
