we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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