Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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