Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
