This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
