Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
