Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
