They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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