The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
