I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
