He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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