Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She bit a glass in half.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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