He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
