Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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