Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
