so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
