ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
