oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
