birth control should be required to get into college
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
