chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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