Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
