dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
