No awkward lesbian experiences without me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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