shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
