Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
