All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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