you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
