Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
