I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
