idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
