Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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