There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
