Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
