I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
