I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
