...so i touched it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
