Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
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Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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