We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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