Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
