I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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