She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
