yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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