I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
