so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
