goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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