If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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