laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
