Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
