she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
