you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
